


is it me and you or is it me and the moon?

by emiliefuture



Category: Mako Mermaids
Genre: #notallmermen, 5 Things, Boys In Love, Cam is GAY and PINING, Cam is less of a dick, Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Character Development, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evie is a great girlfriend/friend, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, I come back with some trash, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Merpeople, Mutual Pining, Overuse of italics, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Zac is also less of a dick, Zac is bi as hell, brief mentioned Zac/Lyla, brotp Cam/Nixie, insecure Cam, mentioned Zac/Evie, much sappier than intended, secret crushes, talking about feelings, two years without uploading, you will literally never see Evie bashing from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-21 06:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15551814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emiliefuture/pseuds/emiliefuture
Summary: It takes Cam forever to figure out that he’s not jealous of Zac for having Evie, he’s jealous of Evie for having Zac.Or, five times Cam doesn't kiss Zac, and one time Zac kisses Cam.





	is it me and you or is it me and the moon?

**Author's Note:**

> So I watched this show on Netflix a few months ago and got really weirdly obsessed for a while. This is the first of a couple of fanfics I've been planning on writing for it since then, because honestly???? There oughta be more of a fandom for this gem of a show, and if I have to singlehandedly bring it to life with my ultra gay fics, then so be it.

1.

It takes Cam forever to figure out that he’s not jealous of Zac for having Evie, he’s jealous of Evie for having Zac. 

The stifling heteronormativity of the suburbs never let him connect the dots about the way he used to like Prince Eric better than Ariel as a kid, or the way he’d save the notes Zac passed to him in class until the pencil faded and the paper started to go a bit yellow. He doesn’t know how to put into words the way Zac’s warm brown eyes and winning smile make him feel like he’s both falling and flying at the same time.

He knows gay people exist and that his cousin Xander is gay and that’s okay– but at the same time, he’s not supposed to want to be called gay because people are weird about things like that, apparently.

When they’re thirteen and Zac starts officially dating Evie, Cam gets weird and tense around them, even though he likes Evie just fine. He knows not supporting his best mate having such a fantastic girlfriend would be a total dick move, but it’s hard to hide the sad ache he feels in his chest when he sees them holding hands and giggling together, sitting slightly apart from the usual group at lunch.

Evie seems to think he’s jealous of Zac and at first Cam thinks he is too. Jealous of his effortless golden boy sort of life, his unmatched talent on the swim team, his sugary sweet new relationship. Maybe that’s all it’s ever been.

Except it’s _not_ , and Cam knows this when Carly admits to him that she likes both boys and girls that same year, though Cam has no idea why she's chosen _him_ to tell. She says it’s because he’s a good secret keeper, but for all his talk, Cam’s never thought of himself as good at anything really.

There’s a pull in his heart when she talks about her crush on Emmeline, a girl in their history class. How her smile makes Carly go all warm inside and she wants nothing more than to hold her hand and do everything in her power to protect that beautiful smile with all her might. And right then, it hits Cam like being knocked upside the head– he feels that exact same way about Zac.

He doesn’t tell Carly this, and he sure as hell doesn’t tell Zac about it that afternoon at junior lifeguards. When their shift is over, Zac is seemingly too lazy to get down off the tower and Cam climbs up to sit next to him. It’s been a slower day than usual at the beach. As the sun inched closer to slipping below the horizon, less and less people were scattered on the sand and shoreline around them.

“Hey Cam?” Zac asks at random, looking up at him without fully meeting his eyes. “Can I ask you something sort of personal?”

Cam feels his heart start to race. “Sure,” he says, trying to sound calm and cool and not as if he’s got ten thousand butterflies in his stomach.

“I mean- gah, I don’t really know how to ask this without sounding weird,” Zac says, further sending Cam into near cardiac arrest.

“You’re always weird,” Cam jokes, and Zac laughs.

Zac shakes his head and tries again. “You’ve been kind of quiet lately. Since I started dating Evie. And I- I dunno. I don’t want you to feel like a third wheel. Or jealous or whatever you feel.”

“Oh sure, _whatever I feel_ ,” Cam scoffs, before he can stop himself. It’s the first time he’s opened up about feeling shitty around Zac in forever. Zac stares at him, squinting in the light from the bright, golden sunset. Cam shifts, crosses his arms, tries to distract himself from the desire to just blurt out the full truth– _I’m gay. I’m gay for you. I really really like you, full homo_. 

Zac puts an arm around him, as noble and perfect as ever. “Don’t worry. You’re still my best mate. Me dating Evie isn’t going to change anything. Maybe you can get your first girlfriend this year too if that would make you feel better?” Okay, maybe not perfect. Maybe a bit oblivious sometimes.

But he's perfect to Cam anyway, because he's _Zac_. And there, tucked under Zac’s arm, looking out to the hazy shapes of the city skyline across the water, Cam very dearly wants to kiss Zac. He’s near close enough to, all he’d have to do is lean in a few inches and there– a proper first kiss worthy of the diary that Cam didn’t keep. That is, if Zac weren’t so clueless and apparently heterosexual. He ducks out of Zac’s embrace instead. “Let’s get out of here,” he says. “I’m starving. All that jealousy really made me work up an appetite.”

 

2.

So, they’re fifteen, and Zac’s a fish now. _A merman_ , Cam thinks to himself, but Zac refuses to call himself that. The whole thing is so weird to him still, and it’s weird to Cam too. Maybe it’s just as weird as hopelessly pining after a childhood best friend and letting it quietly _ruin you_.

Zac’s still dating Evie, but Evie doesn’t know about the merman secret. The fact that it was Cam he ran to immediately after it happened, and Cam he still trusts to help him keep it under wraps and _not Evie_ – well, that’s got to count for something. It’s dumb reasoning, but Cam’s big embarrassing crush has really gotten so much worse now that Zac is also literally a fairytale creature.

Really though, Zac’s always had a great deal of specialness about him; always been the main character in some grand and epic story, even before he became a merman. And Cam? He’s always been nobody, he can feel it in his bones. Just the sidekick, the accomplice, the spare. Better than not having a place in the story at all, but still, he’s starting to wish he’d fallen into the cave on Mako with Zac, or perhaps by himself. So that _he’d_ have to be the one everything revolves around for once.

Zac gets moodier now that he’s a merman. His usually easygoing and kind personality’s gone unpredictable and turbulent as the sea he swims so effortlessly through. If Cam’s being honest, it grates on him sometimes. The two have had their squabbles here and there like all long time friends have, but this is getting to be a real pain. It makes Cam act like a dick to Zac in return sometimes, and acting like a dick is a hard habit to break, so now he’s always snapping at his parents and siblings and friends.

On top of that, there’s the thing Zac may or may not have with Lyla, who Cam has never trusted for even a second. He's kind of got a soft spot for the other mermaids, Nixie and Sirena, but everything about Lyla just screams bad news. Cam doesn’t like the way she and Zac make eyes at each other and sneak off to go on little swims together, for both Evie’s sake and his own.

And on top of _that_ , people think Cam and Nixie dated or at least hooked up. Maybe that’s a good thing, because it’s been years since he took Zac’s ill-advised suggestion to heart and attempted to get a girlfriend, and there was a good chance those same people had been starting to notice his subsequent avoidance of any other possible girlfriends. After their dramatic fake breakup in the café (a stroke of genius on Nixie’s part, Cam has to admit), she stops him outside to talk.

“Thanks for playing along back there. With the argument,” Nixie says. It sounds awkward on her tongue, as if she hardly ever thanks people.

Cam raises an eyebrow. “That was playing?”

Nixie frowns. “Of course. You knew that.”

Cam snickers. “Yeah. I knew that. It was a brilliant idea you had. And so well-executed, too. Definitely Oscars material.”

“Oscars?”

Oh yeah. A mermaid _would_ barely know what movies are. It’s strange, because he feels like he needs to clear the air with her. He feels like he needs to tell her the truth. It just seems easier to tell her than to tell his friends– he hasn’t known her as long as he’s known them. There wouldn’t be the same consequence of having everyone think of him differently all of a sudden. Besides, Nixie clearly has some experience in secret-keeping. His heart starts jackhammering in his chest and he takes a shaky breath. “Nixie? I-” He stares at the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Don't worry. I don’t- uh- I never liked you like that. Really. But it’s not because you’re you, or even because you’re a mermaid.”

Nixie’s eyebrows knit up and Cam wonders if mermaids can be homophobic. Probably not. They’re mostly all women, aren’t they? There’s bound to be some gay mermaids out there. In fact, it would make _more sense_ for there to be gay mermaids than for there not to be, but– he stops his racing thoughts. It comes out too fast, and almost as a whisper. “ _Ilikeguys_.” It’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud, he realizes.

He’s not sure if Nixie even heard him, and her leaning forward almost solidifies this worry, until she repeats what he said back to him, a slightly confused grin working its way onto her face. “You… like guys? As in–” she makes a vague romantic gesture and Cam frowns and nods, still not meeting her eyes. “Don’t tell anyone though.”

“I won’t. But it’s okay. I like girls _like that_ ,” Nixie continues. “It’s so common in my pod, I forget that you humans are the ones with your stupid gender roles.”

Cam laughs, relief washing over him and making his shoulders drop with a release of tension he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding in. “Thank you, Nixie,” he says. “You know, sometimes I wish we could just be friends. I wish this whole thing with Zac would blow over.”

Nixie huffs. “Well you’re the one helping him. If you meant that, you’d stop helping him.”

She’s right, but Cam doesn’t tell her so. He barely admits it to himself, how stupid he’s being, and all for attention. Mostly Zac’s attention, but also to soothe that part of himself that’s always ached to feel like he’s _good enough_. 

It’s why he helps Zac take the trident from Mako, despite the mermaids really not wanting them to do that. He lets himself feel giddy and not guilty, because for once in his life, he’s done something almost mythologically special. Zac’s grinning at Cam, and his grin is infinitely brighter than the moonstone’s magical lightning, and Cam feels wanting rush through him like waves.

“You’re gonna be king of the goddamn sea, Zac,” he says.

“Then you’ll have to be my knight,” Zac replies quickly, and Cam thinks he must be high off whatever electricity hangs in the air around them from the trident, because Zac looks him over more softly than he ever has… before gently socking him in the shoulder. Cam draws back, more from surprise than anything, and he lightly punches Zac in retaliation, laughter rushing out of his mouth. They play fight for a while, like they used to when they were kids. 

Zac’s always been a little stronger than him, but now that they’re older and he’s a merman– _holy shit_ – he pins Cam to the floor with ease. Cam wants to kiss him, wants to _make out with him_ and make Zac say his name all breathless and entranced.

Evie would kill him.

“Alright, Cam, I’ve got you right where I want you,” Zac gloats.

 _Fuck_ , maybe Evie would understand.

“You won, you won. Jesus, just get off me, you absolute child,” Cam says, squirming away so he can stand up before he can enjoy Zac's weight on top of him _too much_. 

Zac goes to the whole other end of the room to order them a pizza over the phone. Maybe Cam was wrong about the softness in his eyes a few moments ago. Maybe Cam’s wrong about a lot of things.

 

3.

Zac’s seriously thinking about giving up the chance of a lifetime– his own destiny, probably– because he doesn't think he can handle it. And sure, with great power comes great responsibility, Cam gets it. But to completely give up something so magical and important seems ridiculous. Zac was being so defensive for someone so clearly holding himself back. God, if it were _Cam_ that had the choice to follow some sort of prophecy with an ancient magical artifact, well– he wouldn't even think twice, he'd just try to _figure it out_.

Besides, the mermaids and mermen have been feuding for centuries. Maybe Zac was the one meant to change that? ~~(Or maybe Cam could be.)~~ The gleaming blue of the trident’s moonstone is practically calling to him, begging him to try. Maybe he can do something that would combine the power of both mermaids and mermen without taking anything away from either. If Zac would just _hear him out_ instead of being so ridiculous. 

Zac keeps talking over him and without stopping to listen. Cam’s got all this angry fire in him, but he still surprises himself when he shoves Zac against the lockers and Zac shoves him the fuck back. Before the gawking students around them can get out their phone cameras, Principal Santos is stepping between them to break it up. Cam feels like shit the second he walks off to class, but the itch for the trident is still there and maybe he can still _try_ to get what he wants. Without hurting Zac.

The next day outside the café, Cam goes over to apologize.

Zac tenses up, still too pissed off to face him. “If you want to start another fight–”

“I don’t want to fight,” Cam says, meaning it.

Zac still doesn’t face him. “Still sore from round one?” he asks.

Cam does a double take at that, because it ranks high up there among the most suggestive-sounding phrases Zac’s ever directed at him. “I was totally out of line,” he makes himself say instead of reacting to what Zac said. “I- I don’t have any excuse for being that much of an ass. I guess I just got mad at you not listening to me.”

“Then I’m sorry too. We’ve both been kind of awful lately,” Zac admits, and it makes Cam’s heart crumble. “All because of the stupid trident. And my stupid tail.”

“Whoa– your tail’s not stupid. It’s _amazing_. And the trident might be- please just listen- it might not be… all bad?” Cam attempts. Zac sighs, and they move to sit at a nearby table, seeing that they might be out there talking for a while longer than they’d thought.

“I’m still having dreams about it,” Zac admits. “Nightmares. They’re freaking me out. I don’t want to be the sort of person they make me into.”

Cam shakes his head. “You’re not.” _I hope I’m not either_ , he thinks. “Dreams aren’t always what’s going to happen, you know. Sometimes they're just what you're afraid of. Unless you’re a psychic as well as a merman.”

There’s a hint of a smile on Zac’s face at that and Cam considers it a little victory. “I think the trident is alive, in a way,” Zac continues, worry creeping back into his features. Cam frowns, noticing the bags under his warm brown eyes. “I’d never be able to control it.”

“You thought the same thing about your powers once,” Cam reassures. “I’m sure it just takes getting to know it. Some kind of connection. I don’t know. And that’s just it. _We don’t know_. And neither do the mermaids. Not really. Just because some messed up things happened in the past doesn’t mean they will this time. What if this is your chance, Zac?”

“My chance to do what?” Zac says, with a sudden bit of harshness. “Make a terrible mistake? This thing could mean the end of the world for all mermaids everywhere, and I’m sorry, you can call me stupid or whatever you want to call me, but I don’t think anything is worth that kind of collateral damage. God, you’ve always been so selfish, Cam.”

Cam can barely sputter an answer. “W- what? I’m not selfish! Or have you forgotten again that I’m the only one that’s been looking out for you through all this for no reason other than that _I care about you?_ ” He cuts himself off before he says anything too embarrassing, and he leaves in a hurry to go to his lifeguard shift and tune everything out for a little while.

Nixie comes over to him while he’s on the beach. It’s clear she can see the tension on his face from a mile away. “Did you and Zac fight again?” she asks him. “You look like what the tide dragged in.”

Cam snorts a laugh. “Bold words for someone that’s not looking much better.” It's true, Nixie's just as visibly stressed as he knows he must be. “Zac’s– uh-” he needs to choose his words carefully so as not to make a wrong move in the plan that he’s making up as he goes along. “He’s stubborn. Calls me selfish, but he’s the one that’s so unbelievably blind.”

Nixie studies him carefully for a moment before the tiniest, wiliest smile starts on her lips. “You like him. And that’s not a question. It’s an observation.”

“Yeah, so this is another thing you can’t tell anyone,” Cam says, feeling his cheeks redden. “It better not be obvious.”

“Only to people with eyes,” Nixie shoots back, pleased with herself. “But that’s not my problem right now. We need to get rid of the trident and Zac’s powers. For the good of the pod. If we didn’t– we– we’d have to leave forever and this is going to sound crazy- but I don’t know if I want to leave.” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I like it here. I want to go back to my home, sure. But now... I’d want the option of coming back. Just sometimes. On special occasions.”

This thought makes Cam oddly happy. Two pieces in his brain click themselves together. “Nixie. What if you and me hid the trident from him? Somewhere he could never find it? And you and your friends did… whatever magic thing you were going to do on him under the full moon– Jesus, that makes you sound like a cult– and everything just went back to normal for the both of us? With some visits on special occasions.”

Nixie thinks to herself for a while. “Cam, I’m gonna be honest. That sounds stupid and kinda dangerous.”

“So you’re in?”

“Obviously.”

And Cam really does mean what he says at first. He means to hold his end of the bargain for Nixie, because it would help the mermaids out. He means to put the trident away somewhere (after looking it over and swinging it around like a lightsaber a few times). And he does. Everything goes perfectly according to plan, except for the fact that he’s starting to want to keep the trident for himself. Or, seeing as the trident has an apparent mind of its own, the trident is making itself known that it _doesn’t want to be hidden_.

The full moon draws nearer by the hour, and the more he thinks about it, the more he knows it would be so easy to turn himself into one of _them_ tonight. To take the chance that Zac couldn’t. Maybe that’s what he’s meant to do. Maybe that would take away his fear of always feeling so talentless and unimportant. Because that’s all he’s ever been to Zac, all he’s ever been to anyone. His hands are shaking and he still feels like shit, but he pushes it down and sneaks away to Mako on his boat, the moonstone in the trident shining bright enough to drown out all other thoughts.

He’s almost to the land entrance of the cave when Zac, predictably, tries to stop him. “Don’t do this,” he says, still predictable. “You’re better than this.”

“I’m really not,” Cam says with a derisive sneer. “You’re wasting your breath. My mind’s made up. If you’re not going to be the chosen one, then I’ll just have to _choose myself_.”

“Cam, come on. Just leave it,” Zac tries, stepping closer. “We don’t belong here. We need to leave this island and all its magic alone. I-” his voice breaks with an flood of emotions. “I have no idea what that thing is capable of. What if you get _hurt?_ ”

“What if that’s a risk I’m willing to take?” Cam snaps back. 

Zac steps closer still and Cam’s breathing quickens. “I won’t let you,” he says firmly.

Cam stands his ground, raising the trident in warning as the moonlight strikes just the right spot to open the cave door behind him. “I’m not asking your permission.”

There’s a sudden blur of motion, and Zac is making a grab for the trident, in a last ditch effort to stop Cam. They fiercely grapple over it until power courses through the trident, throwing Zac against the hard surface of the rock wall with some strong invisible force. He’s not bleeding anywhere that Cam can see, but he’s _not getting up_ either.

The shining blue of the trident’s moonstone is no longer reassuring. Cam feels like someone’s splashed bitterly cold water on his face to wake him up. He immediately drops the trident and rushes to Zac’s side. _What the fuck_.

“Zac. Zac, I’m so sorry,” Cam says. “Please, Zac, please be okay.” He gently prods at Zac’s shoulder and the other boy’s eyes open, breathtakingly warm brown as ever.

“Cam?” Zac says softly. “You’re not– you’re still here?”

Cam realizes that he’s now practically cradling Zac in his arms, holding his head on his lap. He resists the urge to awkwardly break away and stays where he is, despite the fact that he can feel himself blushing. “What can I say? The more I thought about it, being a merman didn’t seem worth not being able to shower in the comfort of my own home. Too full of inconveniences. I’d rather just be me.”

Zac exhales a little laugh. “I’d rather you just be you too. Not the dramatic plot twist villain you were starting to sound like.”

“Are you okay?” Cam asks, holding his breath.

“’m fine,” Zac confirms. “Just got the wind knocked out of me for a second.” He moves to sit up, and Cam helps him. He doesn’t look to be in any danger of dying, but he looks just a bit dizzy and it hurts Cam to know that it’s his fault. Of course it's fault, because he can’t do _goddamn anything right, can he?_ He shakes his head, making an effort this time to stop thinking those sort of thoughts before they overwhelm him again because look where _that_ leads. 

“We need to destroy that thing,” Cam finally says, nodding toward the trident. “You were right. It does have a mind of its own. It– it wasn’t controlling me exactly. But it made me forget about _so much_.”

Zac stares at Cam for a while. “Yeah, well. At least you have a mind of your own too.” He looks ashamed for a moment, before admitting, “I think it did the same thing to me, when I first had it. Remember when I almost killed Lyla? Or when I kept taking the girls’ magic?” He shudders. “I must have sounded like just as much of a psychopath then.”

Cam’s got his arm around Zac and holding him is slowly but surely making him feel better. Making him feel good things again, after feeling nothing but jangled nerves and bitter envy for the past few days. “I’m sorry, Zac,” he says again. He’ll say it a thousand times if he needs to.

Zac’s face is hard to read. “I’m sorry too. I wasn’t always that nice to you through all this either. Like I said, we’ve both been awful. Let’s just– let’s move on.” A smile tugs at his lips, despite everything, and Cam lets himself smile back.

He could fucking kiss Zac, there under the full moon. He really fucking wants to. He smiles back at him instead, and helps him stand up so they can go look for the mermaids.

Cam may or may not stay up all that night, thinking about how it was, in a way, Zac that broke the weird trance the trident had him under. His feelings for Zac overriding all the self doubt and insecurities the thing had been amplifying inside him. And he can’t help but wonder if there’s a chance that could mean that he’s _properly in love now_ or some shit. Ugh. Just his luck.

 

4.

Evie broke up with Zac sometime amid all the chaos of that school year, but it would seem there weren’t really any hard feelings. They’re still constantly hanging out, and she’s fine with keeping his secret. Apparently, through some magic moon pool contrivance that Cam hadn’t been there to see, it’s become _her_ secret now too. Cam tags along with them, and talks to Zac sparingly, but it’s awkward after what happened. He figures it might take a while to get close to where they used to be– like hell either of them will give up on their friendship, though.

And they still practically break their necks to help each other, even if they’re not joined at the hip anymore.

When Zac finds out he’s always been a merman, that the moon pool that first night on Mako had only woken up something that was already there, that his parents aren’t really his blood parents, _and_ that he’s got a newfound sister, he’s having an understandably hard time dealing. Cam tries to coax him out of his shell with his trademark Cam Mitchell brand of humor, but that’s quite visibly doing nothing to stop Zac from sulking and isolating himself, and Cam would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried.

Evie worries too. She brings up Zac one day, when she and Cam are studying in the school courtyard for a class they have together. Well, Evie’s studying, but Cam’s scribbling a checkerboard pattern in the corners of his lined paper, letting his mind wander.

“He’s turned his phone off or something. Doesn’t answer me when I call or text him. Have you noticed?” she asks.

Cam nods. “I tried talking to him at the beach the other day and he’s still pretending like he’s fine. Now I could be wrong, but I feel like that’s a lie.”

Evie frowns deeply. “Do you think– I mean, you don’t think me breaking up with him is part of it, do you? That, plus the thing with the trident, plus finding out he’s adopted– it’s a lot to deal with in a row.” She gives up the pretense that she’s at all able to concentrate on schoolwork and closes her book. “I think we’ve always been best as friends, him and I. We clashed too much as a couple. He’s so stubborn and–” she laughs a little. “We’re not the right fit for each other, but I love him. I just want him to be okay.”

“He will be okay,” Cam says, pushing his notebook aside. “Sometimes things just take time to get used to. Like getting a tail. He was uh– obviously pretty freaked out when he first told me about that. And now look at him. Freaked out over something else, but at least he’s gotten used to the tail.”

Evie sighs, pulling her knees into her chest. “I still wish I would have known about the tail sooner than I did. I know, I know. It’s not all about me right now. It just stung, knowing that he’d already told you way back when it happened.”

Cam grimaces, remembering the thrill of superiority he’d felt over Evie then, for being the one Zac trusted. “I don’t know. I mean who would you have told, if it had happened to _you_ then?”

The question makes Evie freeze up for a second. “Honestly, probably you. You’re–”

“A good secret keeper,” Cam says. “I know. There’s uh– there’s more pressure on you when you tell someone that you’re really close to a big secret. Their whole view of you gets flipped around in a few seconds. Zac probably just didn’t to deal with that more than once.”

“I don’t think I like having a secret,” Evie mutters. “I’m sorry you’re stuck keeping all of ours.”

Cam takes a deep breath, but it still feels like he’s not getting enough air in his lungs. “It’s okay. I’ve got one of my own.”

Evie scoots closer. “Cam. You do realize you can’t just say that and not tell me what it is. Come on…” she pokes his side and it reminds Cam so much of when they were kids that he inadvertently cracks a smile.

He doesn’t look her in the eye, but he says it: “I’m gay.” It’s less of a big deal than he’d been making it out to be in his head all this time. 

Evie hugs him tightly. “ _Oh, thank god_ ,” she says. “This I can handle. I thought you were gonna say you’re a werewolf or vampire or something. That would have officially be too much supernatural shit for me.”

They both laugh really hard at that, probably for longer than necessary. “Okay but seriously,” Cam says eventually. “If merpeople are real, do you actually think vampires and stuff are too? Do you think Sirena or Mimmi would know? _Should I ask?_ ”

“Please ask,” Evie giggles. “I’d actually guess that Ondina’s most likely to know, but talking to Ondina is kind of terrifying, so I wouldn’t advise you take any chances.” She turns serious again after a moment. “Cam? I’m really proud of you. You know you can always tell me anything, right? And you don’t ever have to feel pressured to, I was joking earlier, but– I’ll always support you and I’m _not joking about that_.”

Cam hugs her. “You are _such_ a great friend, Evie. I don’t think any one of us deserves you.”

“Does Zac know?” Evie asks, and Cam isn’t sure, but he feels like there’s the slightest hint of knowing in her tone.

“He doesn’t. And I’d prefer to keep it that way for now,” Cam replies. “But we need to keep being there for him. He still needs us, no matter what he says. And I know he’ll come around eventually.”

They don’t have to wait too long. On the night of the anniversary party for the café, Zac’s looking happier, healthier. He’s opening up to his friends again, making a genuine effort to get along with Mimmi (probably to make up for all that lost time they never had as proper siblings). He surprises Cam by handing him a gold medal with a red ribbon, from when they’d been nine or ten in the state swim championships and Cam had lost first place to Zac by just a handful of seconds.

“I had an unfair advantage,” Zac says, slightly flustered. “Take it. You earned it.”

“I-” Cam suddenly feels so warm he could catch on fire. “I can’t just take your prize, that’s crazy.”

Zac takes Cam’s hand and presses the medal into his palm, letting both his touch and the moment linger. “Well, I want you to have it.”

Zac lets go of Cam’s hand and Cam relents, accepting the nice gesture. “You know, I’m feeling bad about all the fish we caught as kids,” Cam says, joking so as not to lose focus while looking into Zac’s eyes. “They’re kind of like your relatives.”

Zac snorts a laugh and the grin that spreads across his face is fucking _radiant_. He pulls Cam in close and Cam lets himself stay there, lets himself imagine that they’re not in the middle of a restaurant surrounded by their peers. If he tilted his head up just right, he could kiss Zac and everything would be perfect– better than it had ever been. 

But Zac doesn’t need another big change in his life right now.

 

5.

When Zac invites Cam over, visibly nervous as all hell, and proceeds to lock the door behind them, Cam doesn’t know if he should feel slightly enthused or just terrified.

“What’s up?” he says tentatively, leaning more toward terrified by the second from the look on Zac’s face.

“I need your help,” Zac says breathlessly. “I’ve never asked you for anything more important than this before.”

Cam knows now that it’s got to be a merman thing, but he jokes anyways to diffuse the tension in whatever way he can. “If the next words out of your mouth are about helping you hide a body–”

Zac holds a hand up to cut him off. “In any other circumstances I’d laugh at that. But not today.” He pulls out an old, ornate silver box and opens it to reveal that glinting moonstone from the trident, perfectly preserved from when they’d managed to destroy the trident itself, but not the stone. God, and Cam had hoped he’d never have to see any part of that thing again.

“How did you get it?” is all he manages to ask Zac around his suddenly dry mouth.

“It's a long story,” Zac says, closing the lid and trapping its hypnotic glow inside. “But it’s not safe now, Cam. Erik wants it and he knows I have it.” He passes the box to Cam. “So I need it hidden, somewhere no one can ever find it. And that includes myself. So don’t tell me, no matter what I might say one day.”

Cam holds the box not unlike the way someone would hold an inactive bomb that still had the potential to be set off.

“Have you got that?” Zac demands.

Cam blinks. “Yeah. You want me to lose it. Easy.”

Zac puts both hands on Cam’s shoulders, looking him square in the eye. So yeah, Cam’s sure and certain he would definitely go to the ends of the entire earth for this boy, hiding a dangerous magical artifact included. Erik and his empty promises of glory and power can choke. “Cam, I’m serious,” Zac says. “We’ve been friends for… _such a long time_. This is the most serious thing I’ve ever had to ask you so far.”

“Really don’t like how open-ended that last sentence was,” Cam mutters. “But I’ll do it, Zac. You have my word.” And Zac’s arms go around him in a tight embrace, and Cam can’t hug him back because he’s still holding the silver box, but he sinks into Zac as best he can anyways.

“I trust you,” Zac says softly, quietly. And fuck, it fills the hole Cam’s had in his chest since what had happened last year. He's really learned some since then, and maybe this is his chance to prove it.

His first thought is to hide the stone in a human place with high security. But that’s stupid; he has no access to anywhere with more security than a mall cop, and he can’t let the stone fall into any oblivious _human’s_ hands either. Not to mention the fact that Erik’s grown up in the human world. He’s just as capable on land as he is in the water, and that’s quite frankly, unbelievably intimidating.

He can’t just keep the stone at his house either; Erik knows where he lives, and his mom’s always tidying up his and his siblings’ things without asking. The longer he keeps it in his backpack under his bed, the more he feels like it’s burning a hole right through the floor with its obviousness as a hiding place.

In the end, he panics and gives it to Sirena, in the hopes that she can take it with her when their pod travels somewhere else. Or at the least, he figures they can protect it with magic or… _something_. He’s scared Erik might be about to do some kind of Darth Vader-style force choke on him when he admits that he doesn’t know where the stone is, but Carly intervenes just at the right moment, splashing the merman with water so he’s forced to run away at the risk of exposing his secret.

It’s not long before Erik finds the stone anyway, stubborn and overly smart bastard that he is. Cam thought he was attractive when they’d first men, and that’s not entirely a lie. He is. But his eyes are too steely and cold, and he’s too close to the sort of merpeople you hear about in old fishermen’s lore: selfish, sly and volatile without a shred of the empathy that Zac and the mermaids have proven themselves capable of time and time again.

When he hears that Erik had used the stone to temporarily drain Zac’s magic, he’s absolutely furious with him and he would give Erik a bloody nose for it if he weren’t so scared of the merman powers. Actually, _fuck the merman powers_. When he sees Zac sitting there all dejected on the beach, Cam knows he would fight a thousand Eriks if it would make Zac feel better.

Zac doesn’t need more fighting right now though, he needs a friend. So Cam strides over to stand next to him, trying to think of the best way to go about a pep talk.

“Remember when we used to go camping on Mako?” he begins, trying for something epic. “As far as we knew, it was just a place to get devoured by mosquitos and eat shitty half-cooked fish. We had no idea how special it really was.” He pauses, for effect. “Now that we do know what it is, we have to do what we can to protect it. Especially you. Because you’re…” He quiets the voice in his head that’s saying ‘this is going to be so gay’ over and over. “You’re every bit as special as Mako, Zac. You’re… I mean, your ancestors built that place and defended it from people like Erik, so… I don’t have any doubt that you can do the same thing.”

Zac sniffles, face turned pointedly away from Cam. “I can’t even move a blade of grass right now, let alone take on Erik. Cam, what if-” his voice breaks off and it’s very very likely that he’s about to cry. “What if you’re wrong? What if I was never special at all? What if everything I do is… is _useless?_ ”

Cam is taken aback for a moment by the sheer absurdity of that notion. He doesn’t even know what to say at first, and he just makes a scoffing noise, shaking his head. “Zac, that’s ridiculous. You're... literally _everything_ that I've ever wanted to be!" _And everything I’ve ever wanted_ , he thinks to himself.

“I- I am?”

Cam sighs. “Of course. You have parents you can actually talk to, you're naturally talented at like, _everything_ you do. You're smart and brave-" _(And hot as fuck.)_ "Everybody loves you and you never even have to try. You don't make yourself feel terrible all the time like I do. You're– you're amazing." He's pacing in a little zigzag across the sand now, gesturing his hands on certain words for emphasis. "I don’t know how you’re going to win against Erik. I just know that you losing anything is completely impossible.”

Cam stops to take a breath, and Zac stands up beside him, hurriedly swiping at the tears that had fallen onto his cheeks. He clears his throat but his voice still sounds kind of shaky. “Thanks, Cam. Thanks a lot.”

Cam shrugs, flustered by his long-winded speech. “Yeah, well. I can’t have you moping around like that. I love–” Fuck. Zac’s looking at him like he might say something, like maybe he’s _catching on_ , and Cam reroutes the sentence in just a split second. “I love when you’re uh– happy. And not all troubled.”

Zac laughs a tiny little laugh. “So do I?” He kicks at the sand under his feet and gives Cam a long stare, unconsciously biting his lip. "I didn't know you– I mean, what did you mean by make yourself feel terrible all the time?"

"I dunno," Cam replies honestly. "I'm always... thinking that I ain't shit, I guess." He hates putting it into words and has no idea _how_ to, really. "I feel like no one really likes me? I don't know. It's just. It's weird."

"I'm gonna be completely and totally honest with you then, Cam," Zac says, eyes gone soft and hazy. "You need to stop thinking you ain't shit. You're _the shit_ , really. You're so fucking cool. I don't know what I'd do without you, you're so special to me. Fuck, Cam, you– the world could be ending and you'd find a way to make me happy while the sun's exploding. You'd find some way to make a joke out of it. And that's so damn special."

 _What the fuck_ , Cam thinks, as he notices his face is wet and guesses he must have started crying at some point in Zac's words. He's the kind of person that's more likely to cry when watching Ratatouille than out of self-pity or another overwhelming personal emotion, but that's almost definitely why it's happening now. "I– I'm supposed to be the one comforting you," he manages, in a choked voice.

Zac's still staring at him, fidgeting with his arms, unsure of where to put them. "It's ok that we both needed comfort, you dummy," he says, edging closer, to where it really looks like Zac’s about to kiss him. Or maybe Zac’s waiting for _Cam_ to kiss him. They’re standing so close now. Zac’s taller than him, but only by an inch at most, so Cam wouldn’t have to stand on his toes or anything. 

“Zac, I–” Could he do it? After all these years, could he actually–?

He leans forward at the same time as Zac does, eyes fluttering closed in a way that’s unmistakable as anything other than what you do when you’re leaning in for a kiss. 

But Zac jerks away suddenly and before Cam can feel any hurt sort of sting, he realizes it’s because the tide’s come in, getting both of them wet up to their ankles. Which isn’t any sort of inconvenience for most people, but Zac’s about to get a tail in four seconds, and Cam’s phone’s ringing with a call from Evie.

“I should take this,” Cam stammers. “I- I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Zac replies from on the ground, scales shimmering where his legs used to be, blush faint on his tan face, but still present. “I gotta get out of here anyways. Can’t risk anyone seeing.” 

Cam watches him dive into the water, heart still fluttering. He doesn’t even pick up the call from Evie in time, it just ends up going to voicemail.

 

1.

Cam doesn’t know how to bring up the almost-kiss after it almost happens. Zac saves the cave and the moonstone from Erik, just as Cam knew he would, and he’s seemingly gained quite a bit of self-confidence– he’s practically glowing these days. And honestly, maybe Cam is too. The little voice that’s been in his head for ages, always telling him he’s not good enough, not smart enough, not special enough, is finally quieting down. Maybe he’s getting better at telling it to fuck off.

Still, he has no idea where he really stands with Zac. They haven’t talked about that time on the beach, but they’ve been having more and more similarly soft moments with greater frequency and ugh. One of them is going to have to be honest _eventually_.

They ditch work to go to SeaWorld one day, to ride the rides and to pay Mimmi a visit. Mimmi’s hanging around some guy named Chris. Cam wonders if Zac only picked SeaWorld as their hangout spot so he could play the protective older brother, because Zac unabashedly glowers every time he sees Chris cozy up to Mimmi.

“Don’t worry, Zac,” Cam says, trying to hide the way he wants to laugh. “I’m pretty sure he’s harmless.”

The frown stays put on Zac’s face anyways. “Maybe, but how close do you think he’s come to figuring out her secret? Around all this water?” He gestures around them, sighing.

Cam rolls his eyes, but he still does it with a grin. “Mimmi’s not an idiot, Zac. She wouldn’t have taken this job if she didn’t think she could handle it. I won’t stand to waste our day of playing hooky to enable you spying on your sister. _Come on_ , you big dork,” he says, and he drags Zac to the biggest rollercoaster in the park– the big blue monstrosity called the Storm Coaster. Except they realize that they can’t go on _that_ , because it gets people wet, and Zac wouldn’t have time to get off the ride before he’d transform, so they head to the second biggest coaster instead. 

It’s not as high up as the Storm, but it looks deadly fast. Cam’s not afraid of rollercoasters, but he can’t help the slight edge of nervousness he always feels as they get closer and closer to being first in line.

He doesn’t know why the fuck it always happens, because when the ride actually takes off, he always loves every second of it. But there’s something about the anticipation that makes his stomach flip over and shoulders tense up as they take the seats they’ve been given in the very front row.

“I hate sitting in the front,” Cam grumbles as they creep forward to the ride’s starting place on the track. 

Zac just smiles and takes Cam’s hand in his own just as the coaster blasts off. It’s an amazing ride with enough sharp twists and turns to nearly give them whiplash, but the two of them are laughing and yelling and whooping the whole time. Their hands are clasped together tight, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

They don’t let go of each other’s hands when the ride pulls back into its unloading station, not until they have to, in order to clamber out of the thing.

“Hey, Zac?” Cam asks later, when they’re sitting on a tucked-away bench eating cotton candy. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, but he knows he needs to say something. “Uh– do you–?” he stops with a sigh. “Can we talk about that day on the beach? And just now on the rollercoaster?”

Zac’s eyes go wide, but he nods.

“Why is this so difficult? Oh my god,” Cam says, his fight or flight response near-activated.

“I think I know what you’re trying to say,” Zac cuts in. He finishes the last bite of their shared cotton candy and twists the paper cone up in a ball before dropping it on the bench, fidgety and seemingly just as nervous. “And I wouldn’t mind… uh… holding hands more often if it’s okay with you.”

“You know…” Cam begins, numb with both relief and adrenaline. “I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for ages. All these years, I’ve been like, crazy for you. I never thought you’d–”

“Of course I–” Zac stutters. “I feel the same way. I never knew how to say it, I never knew what to do about it or anything.” 

He takes Cam’s hand in his own again, fingers intertwined this time, and Cam moves closer, so close their legs are touching where they sit. “At least we’re saying it now,” is all Cam can think to say, smiling hard and still shaking a little. “Better late than never, yeah?”

Zac pauses for a moment, a big smile of his own growing on his face to match Cam’s. “Speaking of late,” he says, right before gently cupping Cam’s face in his hands and kissing him. The kiss itself is delicately tentative, but it scorches Cam like fire anyways. They kiss once, twice, fucking countless times, and Cam can’t get enough of it, he’ll never get enough of it, it’s more of a thrill than any rollercoaster could ever hope to be.

When they stop to come up for air, Cam rests his head on Zac’s shoulder, just like he’s always wanted to do. Zac runs a hand through Cam’s hair, and hell, maybe he’s always wanted to do that too. “You taste like cotton candy,” Cam says.

Zac laughs. “You do too.” He stares for a while, blushing. “I’ve always loved your dimple. It’s fucking adorable.”

“ _You’re_ fucking adorable,” Cam shoots back. “And what a couple of saps we are.”

He offers Zac his hand to stand up, and neither of them let go as they walk away together. It's both the biggest deal in the world, and at the same time, as instinctive as breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> It always bothered me how despite these characters living right by SeaWorld (or the ""marine park"", whatever, we all know it's SeaWorld) and going to hang out there every few episodes, they were never shown going on any rides or eating any of that sweet, sweet theme park food, so idk I wanted to have a scene of cute theme park fluff.
> 
> Ok but real talk, Cam and Zac have the most chemistry out of everyone in this entire goddamn show, except for Weilan and Ondina, who I very much want to write fic for as well. 
> 
> In fact, that's probably what I'll do next. ;;;;)
> 
> Hit me up in the comments if you want to join me in mako mergays hell, and/or if you have any suggestions for other ships/fics I could write!!


End file.
